Sunday 11 June 2023

A little writing...

How are you?

I can't believe it's already June! Yikes. 😳

In Oz, this means that winter is here. As you might already know, I'm not a big fan of winter. I don't like the cold and definitely have a hard time adapting to shorter days. But this year, I'm trying not to let it get me down too much. I'm also trying not to concentrate on the rising Covid numbers. I mean, no one else seems to care anymore, right?

Also, not having Loki around makes me sad because he used to get really affectionate during the colder weather. It's been over three months since he passed away and I still miss him every day. We used to spend most of the day together, so it's hard sometimes. There are a lot of reminders around the apartment, and I can't seem to shake the sadness whenever I think about him.

So much, that I ended up spending the last few weeks writing a story that first came about because of how much his loss is affecting me.

I think it's easier to add the tweet I posted about it because it explains what I mean:

Yep. In mid-May, after waking up from a horrible dream that made me so sad I spent quite a bit of the morning crying, my subconscious decided to do something about it. I wasn't thinking about a new idea because I was so distracted by the sadness, but my writer brain decided to present me with a new story concept. One that would probably be hard to write because it dealt with the loss of a cat, but that could help me get through this in the longrun.

I ended up writing the first chapter on my phone one night, but didn't get stuck into it until late May. I didn't want to put any pressure on myself. Even thought it might end up being a one-chapter writing exercise and that's all. And I was fine with that.

Well, this attitude sure helped because after a slow start, I spent the last two weeks writing the first draft. I didn't put any pressure on myself to add new words if I didn't feel like it, and started slow. But then I began to lose myself in the story, couldn't stop thinking about it. I picked up the pace and couldn't wait to get back to it every afternoon.

My head was full of ideas and situations. Problems the main character needed to overcome in order to move on. I was gripped and the words were pouring out of me every time I fired up my laptop.

I actually finished the first draft last night. The word count is: 45,078. During most of the writing, I wasn't sure if it was going to be a novelette or a novella, and didn't care. As long as the story kept coming, I kept typing.

So, what started out as a personal exercise to work through my own feelings of loss, turned out to be SO much more. This story, characters and world surprised me. A lot. What begins as one woman's grief after losing her pet companion, became a very involved tale about self-acceptance. About facing what she'd tried to avoid for years. It ended up being deeper, more emotional, pretty violent, and even a lot sexier than I expected.

I'm very happy with how it turned out. And the process really was cathartic. It really did help me, and I look forward to returning to it when it's time for revision. But right now, I'm going to enjoy the fact my sadness was able to produce a whole new (unexpected) story.

Besides, it's a long weekend right now and I'm going to enjoy it with my husband.

Have a good one!

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