Wednesday 8 February 2012

Sometimes, things don't go according to plan...

No, they don't.

This week I was determined to get stuck into the (extensive) rewrite of a novella that needs my immediate attention. I brainstormed a bunch of stuff for it last week, I took heaps of notes, I've been visualising the scenes I'm going to add. But when I sat down to actually write it, I managed only three pages.

Three pages that I keep reading over and over again, only to change them. Then, change them again.

It's very frustrating for someone like me. I'm the kind of writer who likes to get totally lost in writing a story and don't look back. Not until it's time for the revision process. But because this happens to be an important R&R, I keep putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to deliver a perfect draft. Right away. Which is the problem.

I need to take a deep breath and tackle this rewrite a little differently. It's not until I spoke about all of this with my husband last night that he helped me realise something... this story needs a lot more structure before any writing actually happens. In other words, this pantser might actually need to plot every chapter before writing it. Gasp. ;)

It's what I need to do. 

The worst thing is that I can actually see the chapters play out inside my head perfectly. But when it comes to actually writing--what I know needs to be offloaded from my head and onto the screen--I just freeze. It's so bizarre. And hasn't happened to me before.

Still, I'm a determined person. This isn't going to defeat me. It might be upsetting me a little and setting my plans back, but it won't defeat me. I am determined to tell this story the way it deserves to be told, and it will happen...

In the meantime, I'll be scrawling exactly what needs to be written on paper, and reading plenty of books on the side, to keep the creative juices flowing. Oh, and I will not allow this cloud of pressure to burden me anymore.

Ah, it feels so good to get that out. I feel like all the negative feelings and thoughts are dissolving already. :)

Wish me luck!

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